I hate Disneyland - 12 things to hate about the happiest on earth In honor of the recent acquisition of Marvel by Disney, this is what I currently hate Disneyland. Maybe the hero will make it better.
Back in the day, a visionary named Walt Disney created Disneyland. He did not know what a pain in the ass she has become. While our parents treat us with stories of e-tickets, convoys of mules and admissions of $ 5, we have a more bitter that the park has really turned into.
Starting with Michael Eisner and continuing with the powers that be, this park is not the happiest on earth. It's not even the happiest place on earth of a second. It is now the most expensive on earth. If you decide to hit the pavement with Mickey and Minnie, get ready to lose your wallet, your soul, your sanity.
1. Entrance fee
1955 $ 1
1965 $ 4
1975 to $ 6
1985 $ 16.50
1995 - $ 33
2005 $ 56
2009 - $ 62 (3-9) $ 72 (10 +)
Somehow, the board of directors are wiping their asses with Benjamin Franklin and fly with William McKinley. He is sick. For a park that has yet to create a new attraction that does not pretend shooting lasers or acid trip of Woozles, there is little satisfaction to sell a kidney or turn a trick just to get into place of crazy.
2. Pigs wheelchair
My mother has rheumatoid arthritis. She turns 60 next year. She deserves a fucking scooter or wheelchair automatically. I will not even quibble about the price. If $ 40 means that the woman can walk in the park, uninhibited and without pain, is money well spent. That is, if she can go to the park early enough to hang a chair or a scooter before the armies of lazy people are able to roll their fat asses out of bed.
But what Disneyland care? I saw them give their last scooter to a woman 400 pounds, that really have worked, because it was in line before an old man with a cane. Why they do not require a disability placard or ID card is beyond me. But if I see another family of 4 on scooters, lying their asses dimpled servants so they can upload faster than everyone on Indiana Jones, I'll throw them in the rivers of America and happily watch them drown.
3. The Tramway "Drivers"
"Welcome to Disneyland. We ask that you keep your hands and arms inside the tram at all times. This includes your toes and fingers. This includes your toenails and fingernails. This includes your lashes and nose hair . Please collapse all strollers. Please no children on your lap, unless they are under the age of 10. Disneyland is open until midnight tonight. While you're here you can see the new parade on Main Street.
Leaving the tram, please remember to take your belongings with you. If you lose a point when the tram is in motion, raise your hand and the driver will stop the trolley so that you can get your article. Leaving the tram, make sure the exit to your right and watch your head. Again, we would like to thank you for visiting Disneyland today. We hope you enjoy your stay with us today and if there is anything you need, just ask a person to park or to your needs at Disneyland City Hall ... "
4. The endless crowds
Mmm ... Aaahhh ... take a great big breath. * Deep breath * You know what that smell is? A lack of deodorant.
Between 50,000 to 80,000 people may enter the park. When the fire marshal takes a day off, maybe 100,000. Half of these people have no idea where they go or who they want to continue walking.
It is they who are the start and stop abruptly in the middle of trails to explore their card.
They a.
Posted on February 19, 2012.
